Holding on to that promise.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the journey to Houston that mom and I started in 2011. I went back through and read every journal entry on moms caringbridge, http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jeaneenwoodruff/journal. If you never had a chance to read any, I encourage you to go back to the beginning and read a few. We did our best to write about our journey, to be able to share with those who loved and supported us. As I read through the journal, I laughed, I cried, I mourned and I missed mom and that life but through it all I was reminded what God did for us. How He used us to witness to people and how He placed people in our path to help us. There were times as I read certain entries, that I felt like I was reading about someone else. We went to MD Anderson for a second opinion and ended up living in Houston for three months. Its still hard to believe even now.
So much happened in those 10+ months. Life was turned completely upside down for us. We got on a plane to go somewhere we had never been, somewhere we didn’t know anyone, somewhere that might as well have been a foreign country. We knew God sent us there, that He put everything in place for us to go down to the smallest details, which are all detailed in the Caringbridge. It was amazing to go back and see all that He did for us. While I might not understand why He put us on that journey, I’m so thankful that we documented it. I realized this week that I don’t talk about it as much as I should. I don’t share what He has done since I lost mom or even dad for that matter. So many people are afraid to ask how I’m doing. Something my aunt said the other day to me really hit home. I had to be tough to be able to face everything in Houston, to be the support system, to be able to survive or at least I thought I did. I struggle to let my guard down, to be vulnerable. I’ve never been good at being vulnerable, I’m good at being tough, at being strong but God has been working on me a lot this month. I’m not sure what God has planned for me in “the next chapter” but I know that Houston wasn’t the end.
When I created this blog, I was in Houston. I was struggling being away from everyone, struggling with what we were going through, and had a hard time finding joy at times. I was at MD Anderson when I saw a card that said, Find joy in every journey. As I sat in the room with mom as she was getting chemo I started thinking, which lead me to the name, finding joy in the journey. This is not a journey I signed up for, this is not a journey I would have picked, but regardless it is a journey I am on and I will continue to find the joy.
Pray for the victims, the families, and those helping to aid them. #prayforOklahoma #tornadovictims #pray